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Clinical Social Work Blog
Psychological Violence or Psychological Abuse or Ambient (Stealth) Abuse (including "Gaslighting") and Bullying
Most of these articles are written with men as the abusers, but certainly women are abusers, too!
Also see: Violence: "Domestic", Elder, Workplace, & School especially "Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships" at HelpGuide.org
Why do the victims stay?
I'd guess that they have fallen in love with their victimizers before they knew what hit them or the abuse has been so slow and methodically that the victims believe what their abusers are telling them: "That no one else will have you!" And, perhaps they have made a commitment to someone who has a medical or mental health problem, so running away to save themselves would feel like they are abandoning an ill person. I am sure that there are other reasons that on the surface that seem to defy logic in context of the severe abuse but, if done cleverly, the abusers can take almost any sane person and make a "basket case" out of them. So, please be kind to their victims and support them as they struggle to get free of their abusers and become survivors. Victims may self-medicate their broken hearts with alcohol, drugs, etc. See: Addictions: Alcohol/Drug Abuse, Internet/Web (?), etc.
March 2, 2011: Meredith Baxter discusses her life the abuse that she suffered at the hands of ex-husband David Birney, in her new memoir, Untied. Baxter came out as a lesbian on NBC "Today" program in 2009. The number of women in the lesbian community has sky-rocketed in recent years with the number of ex-married (to a man) women now seeming to outnumber the lesbian who consider themselves always a lesbian. Why? Has it been abusive men pushing normally "straight" women into the arms of lesbians or is it that many of these women were lesbian all along? I'd love for someone to do a study or a survey of this ... may NBC or CNN?
"The Silent Victims" - Karin's World - Blog (Saturday, 24 July 2010)
" ... There is a lot of prejudice when it comes to infidelity and emotional abuse. There seems to be the common belief (at least until the Sandra Bullock "case") that women are cheated on if they are unattractive and/or not interested in sex. Likewise, there seems to be a general opinion that women in abusive relationships are to blame for the continuous abuse, because "…they could just get up and leave". I hope to help spread the understanding that it is far from being that simple. ..."
Gaslighting: The extremes of emotional abuse by Jeanne Sparks-Carreker
What Is Gaslighting? (Excerpted from The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life) By Robin Stern, Ph.D.
Abuse Facts: Understanding Abuse and Control - Abuse Types: There are three important categories of abuse: Overt, Covert, and Ambient
What Are Some Types Of Domestic Abuse? By Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide
Gaslighting vs RA, Relational Aggression by Julie Clark
Who are the abusers and why do they abuse?
Well, that is a tough one! Some people are not intentionally abusers and can change their behavior when told how hurtful it is, but some may not. But, no doubt, anytime you hurt someone, you hurt yourself, too, though this may be lost on a few people! I don't believe that anyone is a pure psychopath, narcissist, borderline (BPD), bipolar, etc. but some certainly may have psychopathic, narcissistic, borderline, bipolar, etc. "parts." I believe in the multiplicity of people: "All of us operate at multiple levels of consciousness, which we acquire through socialization and we are microcosms of our families and our society." (Rivera, 1989) (See my Articles that I have written on this subject.) There are a plethora of personalities types that can become victimizers. The use of drugs and alcohol may lower the abusers inhibitions and lead to abuse that may not take place if not on drugs and alcohol. See my article: "Multiplicity and Victimization: What part of `No!' don't you understand? vs. What part of you doesn't understand `No!'?"
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) How to Recognize a Narcissist by Joanna M. Ashmun.
"Superficial charm" at Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superficial_charm) has since been edited but I saved the earlier version because it made a lot of sense to me:
"The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath" By Willem H.J. Martens, M.D., Ph.D. | December 31, 2001, UBM Medica Psychiatric Times
The Mask of Sanity: An Attempt to Clarify Some issues About the So-Called Psychopathic Personality by Hervey Cleckley, MD (Online book - 485 pages)
"Staging a Bipolar Disorder Intervention" By Candida Fink, MD (Be sure to read these 2 sections: "Adjust Your Own Attitude and Expectations" and "Preserve Your Own Health and Well Being"
“Bipolar Insights, Dr. Jay Style” An Evening with Dr. Jay Carter. Dr. Carter speaks to the damage that a bipolar can do to his or her personal relationships. "Bipolar Disorder is a medical problem, not a psychological problem, not a psychiatric illness. ..."
Bipolar Disorder at HelpGuide.org
Get Your ANGRIES Out - Anger Management
First posted on January 13, 2011.
Last updated on March 05, 2013.
August 1999 photo by Jim Wilkinson, Courier-Journal photographer.
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